if i could turn back time.......i would.

a good day to me is one where i avoid static shock, how about you?

 

yay for writing letters the intended will never read.

(spoken) i cant deal with this im out/

as soon as i leave the house you text me/
told you i had stuff to do/
your tellin me you already miss me/
i feel trapped, your drivin me crazy/
dont you see this is slavery/
you think if im not with you/
im against you/
what do i have to do to get through to you/
since day one youve done this/
and at this point i regret the first kiss/
you give me grief with no relief/
im at the point where i want to leave/
dont you see/
you try so hard, but your driving me out of my mind/
im trying not to look back/
i dont want to see the tears i cause bc im headin for the happines i lack/

as soon as i get home its 20 questions/
where ya been/
and who with/
its not your buisness/
im livin my life/
live yours/
just be here to help me and support/
thats what your here for/

i have no room to breathe/
i hate all the girls botherin me/
sayin your no good for me/
they'd be good to me/
and it kills me/
cuz i know its true/

this should be about trust/
but dont tell me you love me after only three months/
ive been in love only once/
its not with you, it messed me up/
but honestly with you, i dont think i can fall in love/
and ya i have a baby/
but dont tell me you want to have one with me/
im not ready/
and i wont be, for a long time/
years have to go by for another/
by that i mean at least three/
im only 21 dont even mention us gettin married/
when you do im screaming in my head, your crazy/

your just addin on the stress/
makin my patience a mess/
if you really trust me this is pittiful/
always questionin my where abouts/
its so trivial/
its pathetic when you whine on the phone/
bc you cant go one day alone/
im sorry i cant make it to your home/
im so sick of arguing on the phone/
this close to closing you off and askin to be left alone/
this close to closin the door wavin good by and sayin so long/
bc id be happier on my own/

posted by: heartofstone at 10:55 | link | comments |

i love music, but at times hate it to. 

always reminds me of crap, happy times, times so diff from now.

oh well cant always be happy.

 

cloudy today, when is it not?

blah, off to do whatever.

 

buh bye.

posted by: heartofstone at 22:25 | link | comments |

sometimes you just feel down, like crap. 

and you just sit back and need to tell the truth about things in the past that you lied to yourself about.

im no good with explanations in writing, so i put them into lyrical form.  it makes it a little narrow but oh well.

anything in ( ) is screamed

now sometimes/
it comes down to/
needing to dictate/
your life and concentrate/
i dont know how i should feel/
when all the lies/
seemed so real/

can you see this/
the scars i wear on my wrists/
is it what you wanted/
my hearts the mark you never missed/
can you feel this/
the scars i wear on my wrists/
she's what i always wanted/
i shot and i missed/

ive tried so hard to understand/
why you left/
my broken heart/
couldnt figure out where to start/
and you crossed me off your list/
i was so confused, my head was a mess/
and at times i wonder if it still is/
i think about when you held me tightly/
i wish you still would/
i wont forget you/
even when/
we're not together/
i wrote the beggining/
you wrote the ending/

can you see this/
the scars i wear on my wrists/
(is it what you wanted/)
my hearts the mark you never missed/
can you feel this/
the scars i wear on my wrists/
(she's what i always wanted/)
i shot and i missed/

sometimes i feel ashamed/
that i loved a girl so much/
every look, every touch/
(but she didnt feel the same/)
how did we make it so far, going different ways/
i swore you were the girl i loved  in my dreams/
but i figured out the problem/
i just forgot to dream you'd feel the same about me/

(i never changed)
(i loved you so much it drove me insane)
(hurt to know you said it)
(when you only thought you loved me to)

can you see this/
the scars i wear on my wrists/
(is it what you wanted/)
my hearts the mark you never missed/
can you feel this/
the scars i wear on my wrists/
(she's what i always wanted/)
i shot and i missed/
oh i shot and i missed/

 

today was pretty crappy, slept most of it away, then my uncle was being a dick head (what else is new?) work was boring and 6 hours seemed liek forever.  then walking home at 4am some guy stopped me pulled out a fucking boyscout knife and told me he wanted my wallet......wtf?  first rule of mugging someone would be to make sure you dont make them laugh at the puny piece of shit weapon you pull on them, rule number two, make sure the person your mugging doesnt have a huge fucking box cutter on them. 

long story short i looked at him funny and he told me he'd stab me if i didnt, so i pulled my box cutter out of the carrier on my hip and told him i was pretty sure mine was bigger,  (lol the blade is about 2 inches fully extended) and then i told him id had a bad day, id just got off work and i wanted to go sleep, and if he didnt let me i had no problem giving him a new hole in his face to eat out of.  thats about the time he closed it put it in his pocket and ran away across the park and ride parking lot, so i called the police and reported it, couldnt really tell what he looked like but he looked like a bum so i told them that.  then i went home. 

heard a cop car go by right after i walked in the door, so idk.  dont really care.  i think the guy would have been more scared had he known i really would have had no problem stabbing him.  i have no sympathy for people like that and i wouldnt have had any remorse afterword either. thats the kinda person i am.

posted by: heartofstone at 11:25 | link | comments (1) |